The suffering doesn’t seem to stop now. It’s been a while since I wrote in here but I’m really feeling kind of crazy and a lot of suffering seems to be going on. Rafa is now starting to catch the flu, Aureole is on the tail end of it, and I’m finally just about over it.

our money is so slow, but better than it has been in the past, and I just cannot seem to get away from this severe suffering that I experience in the form of frustration that things aren’t going exactly the way I want them to. Even as simple as trying to log into an app where I can’t remember the password makes me infuriated.

i’m working hard at reducing the amount of smoking and I can feel the anger just pouring out of me. There’s so much anger and discussed and filth in my mind and it just comes out and I’m tired, and I’m cold, and I’m tired of wearing a bunch of clothing and jackets

i’m tired of boosleeping at the neighbors house. there’s just a lot that I don’t like about life, and it’s stupid because life is so much harder before but I’m still latching on to how hard it is now. Of course like I would expect, never satisfied.

there’s this dryness that my lips and my mouth just can’t seem to get over, constantly running the furnace, constantly running the fireplace, shit always messy and needing to be cleaned, it’s never ending.