i’ve been broke. I’ve been more broke than you most likely. Especially these last few weeks I’ve been really out of money.

But thankfully today it’s starting to flow. After a long drought and me working incredibly hard just to find consistent work, I finally found some sense of relief. It took me three jobs combined to make enough money as I was making with just one, but at least the money starting to flow now. It’s amazing to me how much greater my suffering is when I have no money. So many of the simple things in life that require money becomes major stressors when there is none.

so now with just a few thousand dollars in the bank I’m feeling better today than I was yesterday. I drive past this guy who’s got a sign that says anything helps and he’s not even holding a sign up he’s kind of flopping it down where it’s hard to even read it. Of course I feel bad for people who have no money, but I’ve been that person and I didn’t stand there with a sign I went and created money.

but I’m not insensitive to the suffering that occurs with no money. In fact quite the opposite, I am very aware of how I experience it. I know the Buddhist deny themselves all physical things as a way to alleviate the suffering that comes with the wanting of physical things, but that’s just. not me. I like things

So instead what I do, is I focus on being happy while I’m in pursuit of the things I want. I try as much as I cannot to suffer over not having the things I want. As an example my laptop has this set of dead pixels going straight across the center of the screen.

of course I want to be left top but there like $800, which I don’t have. So do I suffer because I don’t have a new laptop? No, I just noticed that I’m looking forward to when I’ll have enough money to buy new laptop. I had to get the iPhone 5c instead of the five ass cause I just couldn’t afford the $200 for the five ass. Is there any difference between the two?

sure but it doesn’t matter. What matters is in my suffering over not having the fine ass? The answer is no. No if I had to go back to a flip phone because I couldn’t afford the $30 a month for a smart phone that would be a problem. I use my phone for its email capabilities and web browsing constantly. And I can see how a lack of funding would create suffering for me in that area.

I don’t think it’s any different for people who can’t buy a brand-new Ferrari because all they can afford is a brand-new Lexus. Isn’t it the same? There really is no end to the suffering. There’s no limit to the number of things we can come up with suffer over. Were constantly wanting. I’m still striving for my success, and I’m living in today.