While my wife is home suffering, from her back pain neck pain elbow pain, tired from being up a lot of last night because of her pain, couldn’t come to the game this morning to watch her son play.

I know she’s probably going to drag herself down the driveway into the van, and make her way down here, but she probably won’t get out of the van she’ll just watch from the window.

i’m so grateful she’s agreed to take medication, and we go to the doctor on Monday for that which is just two days from now. I am hopeful that by getting on some kind of drug, she’ll be able to start feeling better. And thenshe’ll come back to me. So much of her has been lost, as I just watched the vibrant woman I married become so immovable.

It’s really sad, and I can no longer even trust her to make her own decisions about her health. and, I guess it’s a blessing because now I’m taking control of her health and I’m gonna get her on the medications she should’ve been on years ago.

my suffering often comes back to that I’m not making enough money. I know that money wouldn’t solve the fact that she has arthritis, but healthcare is expensive, and good health care is even more expensive.

so it’s like my suffering, comes from my own failure to provide for my family, even though the level to which I must provide to give them what they need is quite a bit higher than what most people need to produce.

I hadn’t really thought about it like that, it’s not like I’m not able to take care my family, it’s that my family’s needs are so much greater than the average family, because of my blind mom and my sick wife and my broke dad.

When I look at it that way somehow I feel little bit better.