well since I’m almost asleep I guess it makes sense that I’d be tired right now. Just had lunch with a good friend and I find I just have too much to say. There’s so many things going on in my life right now, I feel little bit crazy. That’s crazy leads to overwhelm.
it leads to me feeling like I’m not getting everything done and I really should take time to meditate, and I haven’t, at least not as much as I should.
for my personality I really need to meditate 3 to 5 times a day, even if they’re short bursts, that really is a much better solution for me. But I don’t do that. And I’m still trying to understand why.
it’s like I wake up and I’ve got too many things to do, and I start going. And then I don’t want to stop. It’s like I’m on a roll and so I just keep foraging through, trying to take breaths throughout the day. And then I noticed this tension starts to build, and then I either have to sit for a have to get some exercise.

And regardless of how much I accomplish, I often feel like I haven’t done enough. Its very common, even when I’ve been working hard all day for me to sit down on the couch and think to myself “damn I’m lazy”
This is one way I deal with the suffering.