Ever since I got my iPhone 5 I’ve been going over on my data plan. which I had to call Verizon to figure out what’s going on. As it turns out, the iPhone 5 uses data a lot faster than the iPhone 4 and so you just use data a lot faster . and it seems like you’re using it the same.
so I’m sitting here trying to understand how people can afford cell phones. I remember when I got my first cell phone. It didn’t seem like it cost that much when it was just me, but with a family of four it’s like a car payment. And because I’m still in the process of trying to make my fortune, $264 seems like a lot. And I think about families who don’t have money like I do and I just can’t help but wonder how they do it. It’s just so common agonize over having to pay this bill. I’m so driven by knowing that if I don’t pay it I’ll lose communication with the world.
so I guess this one comes back to my suffering over money. I might as well look at what I’m writing and see what I suffer over. maybe I can solve them. There’s nothing wrong with trying to accomplish things even from the Buddhist perspective. Bodhipaksa says one of the Buddah’s last lessons was with mindfulness strive.
So this striving thing is okay as long as you’re doing mindfully which I feel like I do most of your time. I mean, I strive a lot I’m constantly looking for things to put my attention on to accomplish. I constantly have goals that I’m trying to achieve and things that I’m not getting done that I wish I was.
I feel my dissatisfaction with my own production and sometimes I feel lost and foolish and useless, but those are all my ego, my pain trying to drag me down.
i’m not going to let that happen, it’s a beautiful day. Even though I barely slept, I’m not too tired right now, and after some of the things I did last night, I’m feeling really good about some of the emails I will get today.