what a horrible fucking existence I have right this moment. So broke, mortgage payment coming up that I can’t do. Not sleeping enough feeling very cranky, and not getting the kind of work or the kind of clients I want.

it’s going to start though, it won’t be long before I do start getting the clients I want, it won’t be long before I start getting the amount and kind of work that I want.

but right this second I just want to fucking drink myself into a stupor or take a bunch of pills are just really get out of this life right now. Nobody understands my suffering. Except for Leeron and john maybe.

things fell behind, I got like $100 in overdraft, I have almost no money in the bank, it’s all fucked up