I keep wanting to get back in shape, stop smoking, but too many things are in the way right now

The conversation in my head sounds kind of like I want you to want what I want. And then I hear the other side say but what about when I want. Then I think well OK I’ll just give you what you want. Then I think how long can I do that before I start to resent that were always doing what you want?

so then I realize, if I didn’t make a commitment to you then I’m not that interested and devoting my life to you by just trying to give you everything you want and using that as a way to crash my ego like I do with aureole now

New York pizza is trying to fuck me on my pay. He owes me over $6000 and I bet he went with the new company just so he didn’t have to pay my invoice. He’s going to fuck them too.

some fucker smashed my window and stole a box of secure documents for my car. Of all fucking things to take, so irritating!

oh well, at least that’s all it was. Could’ve been my laptop.

the struggles of staff.  agghhkkkkk

normally this is where I would write about my suffering, but I’m not having any today or yesterday. Things are good, I have enough money to pay the mortgage only the sixth.  gonna do over 20k this month

Orioles knee is messed up. It recently started flaring up, and now it’s been pretty steady. It feels to me like it’s doing the same thing her elbows have done and then it won’t be long before she can’t walk. I’m saying this now because I want to record it so I can go back and look. at how long it’s been

I just get so mad at that kid. He really doesn’t respect my time. won’t shut up. Charges ahead and fuck things up.

i’m giving him the chance of a lifetime but he doesn’t treat it like that. I feel guilty every time I get mad at him. I feel like I’m just waiting for an opportunity to get mad at him for something legitimate.

I can barely be nice to anybody right now and I don’t know why. Liam does have potential and could be helpful in the office, but I just don’t think bookkeeping is the right thing for him, and more importantly I’m not interested in teaching him how to be a bookkeeper, because I don’t need one right now I need a sales person.

i’ve got this nauseous feeling my stomach, and I was having some pain went to the emergency room they said everything looks fine to them but I’m still having issues so I don’t know what that’s about

I can’t believe I’m just waiting for these people are moving so slow.  can i have my stamps please?  

I guess not all my suffering is about money although today it surely is present. We are really broke, oh a lot of money to a lot of people, and I’m getting threatening shut off notices, and we’re going to pay our mortgage late for the first time in a year.

So that’s

I guess not all my suffering is about money although today it surely is present. We are really broke, oh a lot of money to a lot of people, and I’m getting threatening shut off notices, and we’re gonna pay our mortgage late for the first time in a year.

So that’s challenging, but I also find myself thinking about her a lot. and I suffer because I can’t have her right now, because I have to wait to see year, it’s like all the things that I haven’t had to deal with for so long.

s